As Tamara walked into the office, I noticed how tired she looked. She had her 2 1/2 year old toddler with her who she was still breast feeding. He is her third child and she gave birth to him at age 40. Her older two are now teenagers. She had been very happy when she found out she was going to have another child and there had been no problems during pregnancy and childbirth.
She has always had allergy provoked asthma and in this cool and damp winter weather, the breathing has become more difficult. The problems come on in the evening with intense spasms. “It feels like a complete contraction and collapse, as if there is nothing inside supporting me. I can’t breathe in and I am terrified.”
She speaks of being empty inside which makes her feel vulnerable. “I don’t have much inner strength, and I put a shell around me so that nobody notices that there is nothing in there.” “I am contained inside the shell and it feels tight and stiff around me. It is closing in around me, it is suffocating me and I want to push it off in order to have some space.”
Tamara used similar metaphorical language to express her core movement of holding herself back from expressing herself. “All that fight goes out of me, makes me smaller, deflated. The more it happens, the harder it is to fill back up again.”
She then described her own birth as: “It was as if my mother was holding me in. I want to be born and go on with my life. I need to expand, but there is something that holds me back. Like a balloon that is inflated and then deflates. If I inflate too much it is going to pop, so I hold back, that I don’t get too big, don’t inflate too much.”
The choice of image (tightness, inflating and deflating balloon), as well as the underlying movement of holding back self expression in different times and areas of her life, is the same as what she uses to describe her physical suffering. Her use of the same image to describe the state of both her body and mind provides the essential connection to bring the homeopath to possible remedies that can help Tamara. She took one dose of her remedy and over the next six months there were many changes in her life. She started to speak up for herself, and her asthma decreased significantly. The following fall and winter, she had periodic tightness of breathing and took the remedy when this occurred.
Carla Marcelis, ND, DHom
Carla brings dedication, passion and expertise as mission leader to the MICH Honduras clinic and to her role as director and teacher at the Montreal Institute of Classical Homeopathy. Visit her webpage to learn more about her and to read all of her blog posts.